Harry Potter

Categories: Jarrod Edson, Sarah Lehman

Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban: so the plot is that well Harry Potter leaves his home because he used a spell to inflate his evil grandmother….and well he is pissed because she made fun of his dead parents….long story short….while he stands outside to wait for the knight bus to come and pick him up….he sees a black wolf in the forest…so anyways the bus comes and the knight bus is unique it looks like a London bus…but purple and tall…

So the bus takes Harry Potter to the leaky  Coldren…..during his ride there,  he sees the bus instructor reading a newspaper….that has a picture of a criminal on it…named Serious Black…..played by Gary Oldman…..and we find out he’s the first ever person to escape from Azkaban…and no one knows how he did it….reason he’s in prison?…well its because people think he is a supporter of you know who, and that he killed a guy named  Peter Pettigrew…..but ill get to that later….so anyways he gets to leaky Coldren…he bumps into Ron and Hermione……then next day they are heading to hogwarts….during there train ride….the train stops and lights turn off….and oh boy this scene could have been a set up for a horror movie if u ask me….so we find out why the train stopped…its because of these creatures called Dementors….best way to describe them..they fly and wear black flowing cloak…and also they have skeletal like hands…also there abilities is they can and will sick the soul out of people…especially people who has a traumatizing past…see they basically feed on fear…so anyways the guy sleeping near them was up and uses a spell to send the dementor away……so blah blah at hogwarts…Hagrid well teaches the kids in this film…..he introduces them to a creature named BuckBeak……….BuckBeak injures Malfoy….so he tells his dad and well that leads to mr Malfoy wanting BuckBeak executed ….oh don’t worry that all happens off screen…so anyways…..Harry Potter sneaks into a conversation happening…between McGonagall and  Cornelius Fudge…..(he is the head minister of magic)…think of him like the president of the Wizarding world….and not like a good kind of president…I mean like our president we have right now…..so anyways Harry finds out that Serious Black is his godfather….which of course makes Harry Potter upset…understandable……so after that winter ends ….professor Lupin tries teaching Harry the spell to ward off Dementors…..so Harry learns the spell….so let’s skip ahead….the day comes of BuckBeak being executed…….and Harry and Ron and Hermione get a bit of a snip of it happening from far distance…..then well the wolf comes up behind Ron and grabs him and his pet rat Scabbers….and drags them into the Whomping Willow….so yeah then after Harry Potter and Hermione have to get into the Whomping Willow….they do and they find Ron and Serious Black….then well it seems like he wants to kill Harry….but turns out he doesn’t…oh my bad ..how could we misinterpret what he says…when he says…no only one is gonna die tonight….or…enough talking lets kill him…..yeah woops how could they not think he was talking about Harry….no seriously he could have just Clearfield who he was talking about….also lupin comes in and it turns out he helps Serious Black sneak into hogwarts grounds….and that they are friends…also we find out lupin is a werewolf…and thats why he’s been skipping some of his class teaching times…. so anyways Snape comes in to save the day and Harry,  takes Hermione wand and knocks out Snape with a spell…wow he should be punished for attacking a teacher…anyways, Harry find out from lupin and Serious Black that Peter Pettigrew actually told voldemort where Harry’s family where hiding…just so he can save his own self…and guess what he was friend’s with the Potters….wow…what a douchebag….and he made it look like Serious Black killed him…by cutting his own finger off and turning into a rat….see everyone believes Serious Black blowed up Peter Pettigrew….again wow…and again lupin and Serious Black and James Potter were friends with Peter Pettigrew when they were kids….so such a friend he is……so anyway Scabbers turns into Peter Pettigrew…they try killing him….Harry does the honorable thing and say well give him to the Dementors…..they get out of the Willow, Harry and Serious have a heart to heart moment…then lupin transforms into a werewolf…and Serious Black transforms into the wolf and protects Harry and his friends….Serious gets injured and Harry runs after him in the forest where he finds Serious Unconscious……blah blah the Dementors come and starts sucking there souls out…then Harry sees a powerful patrones…..which is the spell to lure off Dementors….and he thinks it’s his dad who wards them off…..so then Harry and Ron wake up in hospital….then Dumbledore gives Hermione some instructions…then Harry and Hermione use her time traveling time Turner to time travel. ..long story short they save BuckBeak and Harry finds out it wasn’t his dad who saved him…it was himself who saved him self?…confused…yeah well time travel is an odd thing….and also they save Serious Black from his cell…and the end….I really like this film its one of my favorites…..I give this film a solid 10/10

 

 

 

 

 Harry Potter and the goblet of fire: so I should start off with a warning…this is when the series starts getting dark, specifically this one…infact the beginning sets the tone right away…the beginning starts off with showing a graveyard at night time and up close at a grave with a Grim reaper statue on it…yeah, like I said this film is dark…also in the beginning of this film we see a person in his home and a house thats located miles ahead of him on a hill at night time..(subtle…I wonder who lives there…hm, maybe its leprechauns…🤦‍♂️)….no but It turns out its baby voldemort and his pet snake and Peter Pettigrew and a guy named  Bartemus Crouch Jr (played by David Tennant)…yes that David Tennant…as in doctor who….so the guy goes to that creepy house …and he gets murdered….wow, movie calm down…u started off with a statue of a Grim reaper in a graveyard at night time…then u decide to shoe someone dying…yeah we’re in for a different type of film…so anyway skipping a bit…Harry and his friends and Ron’s dad and Fred and George go to the Tri Wizard cup or whatever its called…..and on the way they bump into Cedric (played by  Robert Pattinson) yes that Robert Pattinson…the guy who played in twilight..also he is gonna be playing as the batman in the now to be 2022 batman film…which was originally gonna air this year but then got pushed to next year..but then had to shut down production again so now its delayed till 2022…oh well….and of course they bump into Cedric dad…so anyway they get to the tri wizard sports game or whatever its called I forget….so they get to the game and they bump into Draco and Lucia’s who are there to watch the game as well…long story short the night ends with a group of Death eaters attacking the camp…BTW after this film they had to change the design of the death eaters…because they looked to much like a group called the KKK….so understandably the director changed there look in the fifth movie and so forth…(right I looked it up turns out this event was called quiddich world cup..hah…sorry just had to fix my mistake)…so anyways skiping a head….Harry and friends get to hogwarts….turns out this year Dumbledore is hosting the tri wizard tournament…..this time Dumbledore is played by a different actor…let me rephrase that he was played by a different actor in the third movie..I just  forgot to mention…its because the actor who portrayed him in the first 2, well that actor died…so they had to recast Dumbledore starting in the third film and so forth….BTW another thing u will notice when watching these movies is that Harry and Ron and Hermione in each movie are older and older in each film..thats right the actors were just small kids in the first film…how nice they literally grew up while being in these films…that sweet, its like there one big happy movie company family…so anyways he invites students from 4 different Wizarding schools …one of them being a famous quiddich world cup champion…Victor Crumm….BTW Hermione basically has a crush on him in this film…also im gonna point this out right now…here’s one thing u guys and ladies might catch on in this series…basically everything Hermione,  well cries…its because it was something Ron said to her….wow…what a prick…..and yet we’re supposed to believe they are perfect for each other …fun fact JK Rowling admited that this was one mistake she made she wish she could undone…if she could have…she would have Harry and Hermione date…..makes more sense then Ron and her…I mena come on they have nothing in common and majority of the time he can and will be a prick to her…but sure they are such a perfect couple…🤦‍♂️….so Dumbledore invites mr Crouch to tell the rules…that no one under 18 can join the tournament….so now around this point…a guy named Mad Eye Muddie…comes into hogwarts…vest way to describe him…he is a bit of a nutjob…in the book he has been though a few many wars and bis job was to arrest anyone working for voldemort…so he has seen shite…so in the book he became a recluse…lost some sanity a bit..film, doesn’t capture him that well I mean he is kinda somewhat nuts…but still, also he has a glass eye…and a metal peg leg…and walks with a cane…also side note u want to know how much darker the books gets to compared to the films…well lets see in the 6th movie we get introduced to a death eater named Fenir Greyback…he is a werewolf…in the books he is worse…to summarize him up…he is a werewolf where his taste for blood for only q night a month isn’t satisfying enough…so he sharpens his nails and teeth and almost every day he goes and finds young wizard or non wizard kids and either bite them to turn them…or eat them…thats right in a kids book we have a Cannibal…Jesus christ..its basically the equivalent to how scary stories to tell in the dark book series is considered kid friendly,  yet has stories of cannibalism in it…the best way I can describe voldemort and his men are…well voldemort is the cult leader, Fenir Greyback is the Cannibal follower….Lucius is the snobby rich man follower, and lastly Bellatrix Lestrange is the one u would expect in a Loony bin type follower…yep sounds about right…so …well Harry name gets out into the goblet of fire somehow…everyone is mad at him because reasons mainly because they think he cheated….also Ron is mad at Harry…because why not…because he believes Harry put his name in the goblet,  yet Dumbledore said he put a speel ring around it that prevents anyone thats under 18 years old to get past it and put there names in it….wow what a douchebag…clearly Ron ain’t the brains of the group…also we get the most infamous scene where Dumbledore says to Harry Potter….HARRY!, DID U PUT UR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!?!….its infamous because people hated this scene because he never yells in the books, so the fact he yelled in the film is a big no no to fans…oh BTW the only one who treats Harry nicely is Cedric…again wow Ron is such a great friend……infact he is ignoring Harry Potter….wow…ur a prick Ron…so Mad Eye Muddie is helping Harry prepare for each tournament…so im gonna summarize up thr tournament so we can continue this without making this any longer…first tournament involved dragons…Harry gets golden egg and survives…..then Harry is told by Cedric to take the golden egg to the girls bathroom and he does and he sees Moaning Mertle…she tells him to put i tender water..he does and it gives hi a clue…he finds out next round involves under a lake with mermaids……also second tournament requires each player to rescue a person under the ocean….2 of the people that get put down there are Ron and Hermione…anyways Harry makes it out in 2nd place for freeing one of the players sister for her…because she got taken out of this round early…and Harry saved Ron as well so he basically got points for saving 2 people…but still…ok so Harry finds Mr Crouch dead…in the woods…Harry goes up to Dumbledore office and he looks into (something i forget the name) it shows him the past and he finds out that Mr Crouch sentenced his son to Azkaban because his son was a supporter of voldemort…..ok so anyways next day our contestants are ready for the third and finale trial…..they have to go through a huge maze….and in the middle of the maze is the tri wizard cup and the person to grab it …wins….so inside the maze…Harry Potter saves Cedric from being eaten by vines….then they both find the cup…and since Harry saved his life…he was generous and told Harry to take it instead but Harry insisted they both grab it…and they both do…guess what…they both get Teleported to the graveyard…once they touched the cup…..and well Peter Pettigrew carrying baby voldemort in his hands…come outside from a crypt…and Peter kills Cedric…..yes from now on main people die thought these movies…..mainly people that are close to Harry Potter…..so anyways Peter Pettigrew plops voldemort into this cauldron that’s infront of a tomb stone….the tomb stone its infront off is Tom Riddles families grave…..warning to all who can’t stand anything dark…look away…so then after that he plops in a bone of Tom Riddles father…which is miraculously laying on top of the grave…..and then sigh….Peter Pettigrew stands infront of the cauldron and grabs a knife out and puts his right hand over the cauldron..and he cuts off his right hand…and it plops into the cauldron…..gross…and dang thats dark…..see this film is dark…..so anyways then he goes up to Harry and cuts Harry’s arm and let’s Harry’s blood drip off the knife into the cauldron…..yes that’s right the ingredients to bring back voldemort is…baby voldemort and blood of Harry and a piece of his servant and the bone of a family member….I can understand the bone of family member…but I don’t understand why blood of his enemy brings him back…when again Harry is his enemy….but anyways….the cauldron burns up and we see a humanoid slimy figure…and he turns into voldemort…and then a black cloak just evaporates onto his body……and we see he is played by Ralph Fiennes…..yes that Ralph Fiennes…..who played Hades in the reboot clash of the titans…..or u might know him by his role in James Bond Skyfall and James Bond Specture….and voldemort looks alot different from his onscreen appearance in the first movie…..in the first movie although we only see his face in the back of a guys head…still…his face had a nose and scars….now this voldemort…is so pale he looks like an Albino and he is a snake like tongue and also no nose…just 2 slits ….like a snake has….so then he gives Peter Pettigrew a metallic hand…and he summons the death eaters….seriously I’m glad they changed there designs after this film…..so anyways we find out that Lucius Malfoy is a death eater…..so then voldemort and Harry Potter get into a wand fight……Harry’s dead ghost family and ghost Cedric comes out of the grave and attack voldemort and his men to give Harry a few seconds of time to escape….and Harry takes Cedric body with him…when he gets back…..everyone sees Harry crying while holding Cedric…Dumbledore comes up to Harry….and he tells Dumbledore that voldemort is back….and well of course Cedric father comes out on the field…and he is upset….then Mad Eye Muddie comes and takes Harry away to a tower….wow this was a sad ending….so anyways Harry finds out Mad Eye Muddie put Harry’s name in the goblet of fire and he killed Mr Crouch…..what a twist……so then as soon as Mad Eye tries to kill Harry…Dumbledore and Snape and McGonagall come bursting in…and they find the real Mad Eye Muddie locked in a chest…thats right the Mad Eye Muddie they been talking to was Bartemus Crouch Jr…in disguise…..a double twist if u will….so yeah and the movie ends with the kids going back home….the end…I actually liked this film …but alot of people don’t because it aint book accurate….so I’ll be fair and give this a solid 6.9/10

 

So here’s how I’m gonna review these films….I’m gonna give the layout of the films and my opinions on what’s good or bad and what each character is like

 

 

 

Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone: so the plot of this film is that Dumbledore and Hagrid and McGonagall drop baby Harry at the dersleys….and let’s just say there awful…..to him specifically….so anyway one day he gets accepted to hogwarts school…..don’t worry he gets the message…meaning that many owls were sending mail to his house…..then well Hagrid has to come in person and invite….Harry…he brings Harry Potter (played by Daniel Radcliff) to diagon alley…they go shopping to get his school stuff…Harry Potter gets a wand that has the same core in his wand as Tom Riddle….so anyways Hagrid gets him an owl….a snow owl……Hagrid tells Harry Potter about voldemort…well he who must be named…because for some reason they refuse to say his name…oh right because there terrified of him, so Harry finds out when Harry was a baby…voldemort tried killing him and also kills Harry’s family….lovely…and thats how Harry has a scar on his forhead…because curse spell didn’t work…….so blah blah…in this film Harry become friends with Ron and Hermione (played by Emma Watson)….well Ron was rude to Hermione for a while……also Harry and Ron save Hermione from a troll…that was cool….alao now for some reason Harry and Ron and Hermione think Snape (played by the late Alan Rickman,  may he rest in peace) released the troll….because he has a scratch on his leg….I mean that is suspicious….also Harry Potter joins in a sport named quiddich….its basically the equivalent of soccer  …but in the sky while riding brooms..ok so long story short…Harry and Ron and Hermione sneak past a three headed dog named fluffy….and find a secret trap door…they go in it and well he to put it …Ron end up getting injured while Hermione stays behind to watch on Ron…then Harry goes into the room thats on the other side of the giant chess board….and guess who is in the other room….its professor Quirrell….turns out it was not Snape who released the troll or tried killing Harry..it was Quirrell…so then he takes his hat off his head and its revealed that voldemort is living on the back of head…ew…so he has 2 faces….so yeah he tries to trick Harry into giving him the stone…..and well Harry kills Quirrell by touching him and he turns into dust…that was a bit of a dark scene…..so anyways day is saved and Harry and Ron and Hermione are Allright….the end…I really love this film its a great and entertaining film….a solid 10/10

 

 

 

 

 

Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets: ok so the plot of this film is that , well let’s start from the beginning……at Harry’s home….he encounters a house elf named Dobby,  who is in his bedroom jumping on Harry’s bed…long story short…he doesn’t want Harry to go back to hogwarts. Because a evil has risen at hogwarts…..so at first he tries to make Harry think his friends haven’t mailed him…(by stealing his friends mails to him)….so Harry will think he’s been forgotten and won’t go back….douche move if u ask me….then Dobby runs downstairs and uses his powers and plops a cake onto some guests that are downstairs…..which of course the Dersleys blame Harry…so then mr Dersley locks Harry in his room and puts bars on the side of his window….that night Ron and his brothers…Fred and George come save Harry in there flying car (I mean there father’s flying car)…..so long story short…they take him to there house…Ron’s mother blames her kids and yells at them for stealing the car (don’t worry she always yells at Ron and his brothers…but mainly Ron)… but of course when Harry is around….she treats him really well….then Ron’s dad comes from his job….and his wife tells him that there sons took his car ….and rode it…of course his reply was….did u really?…how’d it go?……hehehe…that was great……ok so they Teleport to diagon alley using flew powder….Harry Potter says the wrong name and gets sent to noctern alley (again sorry for butchering names im not always good at spelling)…..Hagrid is down there and he brings Harry to diagon alley which is near them….there in diagon alley they bump into Hermione,  and she takes Harry Potter to olivandors wand shop where a boo sighing from  Gilderoy Lockhart…he is famous book author….but spoiler alert…he is a fraud and a fake …we find that out later….also he’s played by the director of murder on the orient express…..lovely….blah blah.. Lucius Malfoy and his son Draco come into that store…so gonna skip ahead..long story short….Gilderoy becomes new defense against the dark arts teacher…..he ain’t good at it….also Harry gets injured during quiddich….and Gilderoy accidentally uses a spell that takes away his arm bone…..lovely….so he ends up in hospital….then Dobby visits Harry…he warns Harry Potter about evil….and then he leaves…..also during this film we see some students becoming petrified……meaning frozen…..we find out how later…..also in this film we find out Harry Potter can speak snake language….so now people are insulting him, because they belive he’s the air of Slitheryn……..so a bit later…Hermione becomes petrified…now idiot number 1 (Ron) and idiot number 2 ( Harry Potter) have to find out what to do without Hermione…..trust me when I say this if they didn’t have Hermione on there missions, they’d be lost without her…..she does majority of the work….so anyways….Harry gets teleportated into tom riddles diary that he found in the girls bathroom…and no…no girls go in there because of a ghost that haunts that bathroom…named moaning Mertle….and FYI…she has a crush on Harry…oh sorry mt bad I should have said TMI not FYI….so in the book he sees Tom Riddle as a teen at hogwarts. …long story short he sees that Tom Riddle tries framing Hagrid…how u may ask…by framing Hagrid as the guy who released the giant snake called the basilisk….and yes a giant snake is the cause of people being petrified…if u look straight at its eyes it will kill u…if u look at it through like uh uh a mirror or a water puddle or a camera…it will just petrifie u…luckily Hermione had a mirror in her hand…thats how she saw the creature….anyways Harry potter and Ron go into the forbidden forest and encounter Hagrid giant pet spider…..right after Hagrid gets sent to Azkaban…because people think he’s the reason for kids dying?…heh….and Dumbledore gets sent away because lucius had the whole council sign a paper to fire Dumbledore…. so anyways  when Harry  and Ron get to the giant spider, he Clearfield he ain’t the beast that killed the girl…because many people including Harry thought that…oh and that Hagrid was framed…long story short this scene ends with the giant spiders sons and daughters trying to chase Harry potter and Ron in the woods…to eat them both….ok so Harry and Ron get back…They find out that Ron’s sister Ginny Weasley…has been taken by the monster…idk how the teachers knew that Ginny got taken…the words on the wall in the hallway said..her bones will lie in the chamber forever…again I don’t know how they got out of that…that Ginny been taken…nowhere in that threatening message did it say Ginny…but anyways…Harry and Ron go see Lockhart to give him information..turns out he is trying to leave,  now the truth come out…he is a fraud…so long story short Harry and Ron take Lockhart to the girls bathroom and they find the entrance to the chamber…it was located in the middle of the sinks…it was a passage way that had to be open by someone who can speak Slythiren….cough cough…Harry Potter….so they push Lockhart down there…then they go down….down there Lockhart takes Ron’s broken wand away and tried to wipe both there memories…but instead the mind wipe spell bounced back onto Lockhart…so now he has no memories of who he is or who they are…lovely…..so then Harry finds Ginny on the floor Unconscious…and near deaths door…then Tom Riddle comes out and takes Harry wand away and tells him he won’t need it…of course Tom Riddle tells Harry that he is voldemort…what a twist….and that he’s been interested in Harry Potter because in his future Harry Potter as a baby survived voldemort….so then mr Riddle summons the basilisk…..its a coll scene where Harry is running from the basilisk…then the Phoenix comes in and pecks the basilisk eyeballs out of its sockets…eww…so the scene ends with Harry Potter grabbing the sword of  Gryffindor out of the sorting hat…( that the Phoenix brought down with him)…and stabs the basilisk through the mouth…but Harry gets impaled in the arm with a basilisk tooth…so now he’s dying from the basilisk poison….so Harry takes the tooth and stabs the book…and Tom Riddle well dies…keep this in mind because it becomes relevant in the 6th film…..then ginny comes back to life…and they get out and the day and school is saved…Dumbledore is back as headmaster….and Hagrid is being sent free from Azkaban….but then lucius comes in with Dobby…we now know his owner he serves is the Malfoys…anyways after this happens and as soon as both lucius and dobby leave….Harry Potter runs up to them with the book in his hands and hands it to lucius,  who he hands it to Dobby…then he opens it and finds a pair of sock in it…and now he is free…if u guys are confused let me explain…house elves can only be set free if there master presents them with cloths…so Harry took his own sock off and put it in the book and handed the book to mr Malfoy without him knowing a sock was in it..and be handed it to Dobby..so in a way he did free him…unintentionally…mr Malfoy tries killing Harry..Jesus lord…but dobby stops him…and well now the day is saved…and everyone who’s been petrified are now not…because professor Sprout made a cure…so Harry and Ron reunite with Hermione in the Great hall…awww…anyways happily ever after 

..the end…how do I feel about this film…I really love it…I give it a solid 10/10

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