Wonder Woman 1984

Categories: Hellos With Fellows, Jarrod Edson

Wonder Woman 1984: ok where to start….I hate this film…..I really wanted to love it because I loved the first film…but just can’t this film is bad,  this film is 2 hours and 30 min long and it drags……so the plot of this film is….if u can even call it a plot 😑….is that Diana and her new woman friend ( I forget her name) who is not popular and is quirky and odd and wears glasses….hm haven’t heard of that before…oh wait…nevermind we have…..this is not an original thing…its been done with Selina Kyle…in batman returns…and poison Ivy in Batman and Robin….and so Diana and her find a magic crystal that grants wishes…yeah thats the plot of this film..and guess what it can only grant one wish per person….oh wow so interesting…..ok before I get any further…let me mention the beginning…the beginning is pointless its 15 min of her as a kid…showing her doing a contest and cheating…how does that impact the story u may be asking…answer, it doesn’t….at all…ok back to the quote on quote important parts…..Diana wishes for her dead boyfriend Steve to come back….Diana’s friend wishes to be as strong and attractive as Diana….and she does…for no reason she starts turning evil….also for some reason every man in this film is represented as a rapist….yeah I wish I was joking….sigh….and diana gets her wish…kinda…the wish can’t bring her boyfriend back…but it does bring his soul back and have it possess a random guy….ok I want u to think about this in context and tell me if this isn’t down right gross…this random dude who gets plucked out of his life…maybe he had a family…..and he gets possessed with no choice, and for the next week he’s having bed time with Diana….um….ewww….again this random guy is possessed without consent….and he’s without consent having sex with a random woman he never met…😑…..yeah sorry this is a boat loads of wrong….downside to her wish it starts taking her powers away….thats the minus part of her wish…its something that got taken away from her for exchange of her wish…and as for Diana friend…well ill get to that soon….we get introduced to our main bad guy about 35 to 40 min into the film…and he’s played by Pedro Pascal…..and oh my God he is the worst villain the DCEU has ever given us…..so he’s power hungry and wants to be successful….and he somehow knows about the crystal and gets it off the black market and instead of wishing to be successful…he just wishes to become a magical genie…basically….ok im confused on what the bad guys motivation is…he first wanted to be successful and prove he’s a good father to his son…now he wants to be a genie…to grant wishes…yeah ok whatever…this film is bat shite bonkers….so anyways it gets worse……so he now goes around touching people…because he can only grant wishes if he touches people and asks them what they wish for…ok then..the rules of this magic stone in this movie is none existent….couldn’t even establish a certain rule of this stone……wow…so anyway later on Diana renounce her wish so she can get her powers back…how did she know she could do that?…because the script says so…sigh…oh and Pedro’s character asks the president what he wants and he says more nukes…which now is starting a war against (I forget which country i have tried to Black out this movie as much as possible)…..oh joy….and then I kid u not near the end of the film Pedro’s plan is to get himself live on TV and podcast himself onto all satellites because and I quote…the satellite has these particles that come off of it and goes through every electronic 😑…and in a way if Pedro’s character can gwt himself live on all those satellite….he in a way is touching everyone and he can grant them there wishes…🤦‍♂️…yeah thats right. ..this is the plot ladies and gentlemen….the most confusing and dumbest/convoluted plan in film history…..so anyways Diana goes and stops bad guy….oh and Pedro offers a second wish to Diana’s friend who for now some reason hates Diana….she wishes to become an apex predator….I don’t know how that translate to becoming a cheetah human hybrid but whatever….so Diana gets to cheetah ….in fully golden armor…where did Diana get the armor. ..who the hell knows..and who the hell cares….so she fights against cheetah and I forget to mention the CGI in this film is laughably bad….anyway she defeats cheetah and goes inside and stops crazy Pedro’s character….and my god in this scene he is hampering up his dialog. ..just listen to this…” u can’t stop me!!, no one can!!!”…..sighhhhh…why Pedro…why would u go from game of thrones to mandalorian….2 great shows….to this. ….this horrible film…oh and he’s in another film I’m writing a review for called we can be heros…..its a kids film…so anyways she ties the lasso of truth around Pedro’s character and she tells the world to renounce there wishes…they all do…including Pedro’s character and he runs away and reunites with his son…and happy ending I guess…..oh and as for random guy he wakes up with no memories and Diana starts flirting with him….sigh…ok films done….I hate it….im Giving it a solid 4/10…would not recommend it

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